When we want to make a healthy diet or lifestyle change, we tend to focus on immediate results—or more accurately immediate restrictions. We decide that our daily French fry binge at lunchtime may be the cause of those extra pounds that just won’t come off, and we make an abrupt and final decision: No more fries—ever. How often does that work? Rarely is likely the answer. Two facts account for the cut off’s low result rates. First, we generally don’t like being told absolutely not, even the ban comes from our own lips. Second, we probably eat that not-so-wholesome food or participate in that unhealthy activity because we like it; it makes us feel good.

Depriving ourselves often makes matters worse. We go for a week without those greasy fried potatoes, and the next week we have French fries for lunch and dinner, with extra salt, and some cheese and bacon bits for good measure. Cravings are enhanced when our bodies abruptly no longer have something they’ve grown accustomed to. These cravings stir up emotional responses that trigger responses, often subconscious, similar to loss and rejection. How do you deal with loss and rejection? French fries, duh.

Luckily, deprivation is not the only answer. Ease up on yourself. Slowly cutting back on those yummy foods will be much more successful. Instead of no fries, try fries only three times a week for awhile. Then, when that’s no longer difficult, cut back to twice a week, then once a week. Soon, French fries will be a treat only for special occasions.